Current Lonely hearts advice and dating tips from the Hitch Doctor.

Hitch is the number 1 matchmaker for lonely hearts ….

The trials of a first date…

I was asked for some advice this morning from a nervous friend of mine. His tension was due to getting a first date pencilled in with a lady for this Thursday. Whilst suitably happy with the prospect he is worried about where to take her. Which raised the conundrum- where to take a first date? Now, unfortunately ladies and gents, there are no hard and fast rules on this – one person’s ideal first date could be another’s equivalent of torture with a rusty screwdriver. However, I believe there are some pointers that should be token wisdom for anyone in the singles scene.

Firstly, I would suggest the cinema is a no-go. Sitting in a darkened room for two hours looking at a screen is not conducive to a night which should be about you both having fun and seeing if you’re compatible. It doesn’t really break the ice, unless you are both professional film critics. Similarly, a hectic nightclub may not be the best place for two lonely hearts to get to know each other, especially when your ‘dynamite’ lyrics are drowned out by a bassline that has no mercy.

It’s not rocket science basically and, dependent on both your interests, with a little thought the ideal first date venue should be easy enough to work out. Something that shares both your interests would be key- or in its simplest form, a place where you can talk, laugh and get to know each other informally would be ideal. A female friend of mine told me about her buddy who arranged to meet a first date at a tube station 15 minutes walk away from the restaurant they were to eat at. This allowed them to ‘walk and talk’ a bit on their way there without the formalities of sit-down dining that some can find to rigid and forced straight away. I found this a great idea, especially if the walk was of the scenic variety- and initial reports say it went down superbly on this date. It’s worth checking that crack alleys and makeshift latrines are not great conversation-starters here however, so plan your route!

Tell-tale signs for a blossoming relationship

Short of a full-frontal tonsil assault or (wonder of wonders) your date telling you exactly how he/she feels there are several tips to watch out for to see if someone is interested. This has come about from a user on www.hitch365.co.uk getting in touch after him feeling it didn’t go particularly well on one date. So, fragile heart that he is, he declined to get in touch. A week later, his date contacted him wondering why the cold shoulder, all because he didn’t pick up on any of here [admittedly, very subtle] signals.. So what to look out for,

  1. If this isn’t picked up as a good thing I give up, by simply smiling at someone. By smiling you’re giving someone a vote of confidence that you're on the same wave-length of them.
     
    2. Asking questions – When I asked my girlfriend, she said if she likes someone then she’ll ask questions about them and their history to find out more about them. If she doesn’t then she won’t. Needless to say, she still doesn’t know my name.
     
    3. Physical contact - if someone touches say your arm, it doesn't necessarily mean they are hopelessly attracted to you but it means they’re comfortable. However if someone touches your hand (think holding hands with a partner: it's intimate) or any other part of your body then you're in there!
     
    4. Compliments. This can be as basic as someone complimenting you on wearing a nice shirt. That person wants you to know that they noticed your effort to look good for them and to make you feel good about yourself too.
     
    5. Eye contact - If you’re interested in someone and what they have to say then you maintain eye contact. This can be broken and regained throughout a date – but all this ‘eye-dancing’ harks back to very old courting rituals so it’s all a positive sign. Unless, accompanied with a sneer of disdain.
     
    6. Distance – Picture the scene; you’re in a loud bar and, you’re talking to your guy or girl. If they can’t hear you properly you may talk directly into their ear which again is quite intimate whereas if the attraction isn’t there they would simply move a little closer maintaining boundaries instead of smelling your ears.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but hopefully will help those lonely hearts out there not to walk away from a perfect match, before reading the signs properly.

Email – thedoctor@hitch365.co.uk